


Perish, Twice

by tallestgirlonearth



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Established Relationship, Heartbreak, Implied Slash, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-10
Updated: 2014-02-10
Packaged: 2018-01-11 21:11:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1177981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tallestgirlonearth/pseuds/tallestgirlonearth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thorin was always sure his world would end in fire. Bilbo discovers his world ends in ice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Perish, Twice

 

 

_From what I've tasted of desire..._

 

He knows he will probably not live to grow old and content like his forefathers in the golden days of yore. He is too proud, to filled with **longing** , to lead a peaceful life.

Erebor. Home. That is what he is longing for, to see the Lonely Mountain freed from the claws of the dragon and restored to its old splendour. Only many years after Smaug's attack, when he has been burned and scarred both by the smithies of men and by life itself, does he experience another kind of longing. A desire for something not metal or stone. A desire for some **one**.

 

_I hold with those who favour fire..._

 

It could not last. He should have known it would not last, instead burn up and turn to ash like everything dear to him. But he forgot. He lost himself in a different fire than a dragon's breath. He allowed himself to devote time to gently carding through auburn curls, shining in the campfire glow. He let himself be comforted by the light and love in warm green eyes.

 White-rage is what it ends in. It spikes through him and turns his heart to ash. It bends his thoughts to fierce, unyielding pride, to defending what is **his.** He will not be betrayed another time. None will ever take anything away from him ever again. With this in mind, it is easy to banish the burglar. After all, being alone means nobody is there  to commit burglary.

 

***********

 

_I think I know enough of hate..._

 

He truly does not recognise himself right now, and neither would his parents. He is dirty and exhausted, both physically and mentally. Trudging along muddy fores paths and narrow mountain passes, what does he get for his troubles? Life-threatening situations and the icy indifference of their leader. He is a hobbit of the Shire, used to friendliness and comfort, but now, he thinks, he has felt what it's like to be hated.

Later, after he has killed a warg with his letter-opener, does he understand one thing: you cannot fully grasp hate unless you have felt love. For him, love feels like armour, digging sharply into his torso as he is held in a tight embrace. It is cold and uncomfortable, but he believes this little bit of world he encounters in those strong arms might be the only place he needs.

 

_To say that for destruction ice is also great..._

 

Another thing he learns on this madcap quest is this: there is a reason why hobbits are decidedly unadventurous. If you don't venture out your front door, you don't get your heart broken by Dwarf kings. The Took in him enjoyed listening to songs of snowy mountains far away and of cavernous halls filled with treasure and he took even more pleasure from hearing this singer's voice whispering endearments in the dead of night, while cool lips pressed kisses to his jaw. When this voice called him 'thief' and 'traitor', he felt small and very much like a Baggins. Crystal blue eyes held no trace of love, just a haze of contempt and madness. The curses pierced his skin like needles and his heart shattered like icicles on the ground.

Now he shivers in the late autumn's wind and looks up to the mountain, where he knows a King will be watching everything that is going on below. War will be upon them soon, but that is not the reason why he feels so cold.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I've done it. I've posted my first ever story on Ao3!! The title as well as the lines in italics are from "Fire and Ice" by Robert Frost. That man feeds my muse like nobody's business...
> 
> Comments would be lovely :)
> 
> oh and I'm also on tumblr, come say hello at stars-and-meteors.tumblr.com


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